The Land of Milk and Paper (Originally published 4/8/2006)

Yet another of my previous blog posts, this one is perhaps my favorite. Enjoy!

So, as always, I'm writing from my post in the library. This very snotty woman came in earlier complaining that the NY Times she wanted wasn't on the rack. So I went to the rack, confirming that indeed the paper was not there, and informed the woman I didn't know where it was because, well, not only didn't I give a monkey turd, but in the world of libraries anything not in it's designated place is deemed "lost." I asked her if she was looking for something specific, an article, perhaps and she said that in fact she was not.

I'm not sure if you've ever met anyone like this woman, but she was very condescending. She asked "Do you think that the staff pick it up and read it, and dont put it back where it belongs or lose it?" "Periodicals aren't supposed to leave the library," I replied. "Yeah, but do you think thats what happens?" Her lipstick bothered me, her twitchy body language told me immediately that she was no good. "I really can't say ma'am (women hate it when you call them ma'am) but I would hope no staff member here would ever committ such a grevious offense."

My real beef with this lady is that she is hopelessly out of touch with reality and time. It's 2006, there is virtually no news on the planet that is inaccessable via the internet. Also, what kind of person can't go get their own new york times? they're $1...

Speaking of things that dont last long in new york (newspapers, dollars...) I found out why the Milk in NYC has a more recent expiration date than surrounding areas. Let me give some background for those that dont live in new york. See, on milk containers in the city there's a date of expiration lets say it's April 11, then below that date is another line that says "In NYC April 9." Well shit like that will keep a person up nights, just wondering if there's some sort of NY milk conspiracy.

Turns out that The NYC board of Health is pretty smart. They take into account the potential mishandling of "fluid milk" and have set stricter rules about milk sales. So the deal is that once a grocery store gets the milk, they have 96 hours to sell it (which gives us our shortened expiration date). It seems that the date on the bottle is less of an indicator of when the milk will be bad and more of a guide for how long the milk is saleable by law. Also turns out that milk is usually still good for several days after the expiration date

So it's not that the milk here is any worse than milk anywhere else, it's just that we have higher standards.